Sometimes relationships can start to feel stagnant, stale, distant, or disappointing. Maybe you and your partner have lost your loving connection in the busy, mundane whirlwind that is life. Maybe you feel like you’ve lost yourself in the relationship trying to make everyone else happy. Or maybe there has been a breach of trust or built up hurt.

Whole Hearts Counseling can help you find yourselves - and your connection - again.

You can fight about dishes, in-laws, who didn’t feed the dog, sex, or insert your most common arguments, but they often happen in the same predictable way. Most couples can identify a typical pattern of conflict in their relationship. The difference is that some patterns are effective and help you move through conflict to connection, and others aren’t.

Sometimes the relationship isn’t the problem - the pattern is.

I will help you break down the pattern into familiar steps, identify which steps aren’t working, and figure out what to replace them with.

Sex is tricky. It’s vulnerable, often unspoken or unaddressed, and can fall off the rails real quick with a series of rejections, dismissals, missed cues, piles of stress, and eventual avoidance. Communication in general can be difficult. But communication about sex feels damn near impossible sometimes.

I will guide you through skilled communication tools that work for your specific relationship dynamic and challenge current ineffective cycles, all at the pace that works for you.

I will also help you understand differences in desire levels and learn how to navigate these in a way that reduces pressure and shame, because those aren’t sexy (and don’t serve us).

Of course you have! We grow and change more than we often realize. New people, experiences, conversations, and stages of life can shape what we need, how we communicate, and how we see ourselves. Our needs, boundaries, expectations, and ways of communicating can change when we change.

Sometimes the people around us are still responding to who we were, while we are trying to figure out who we are becoming.

And sometimes, our relationships don’t automatically grow with us.

It can be surprisingly easy to lose track of how much we’ve changed—or to expect others to understand changes we haven’t fully put into words ourselves.

I will help you make those changes more visible and teach tools for putting them into new context.

That’s okay! You don’t have to know exactly what you are coming to my office for. You’ve done a really important step in noticing that you want something to be different. Not knowing shouldn’t stop you from finding out.

I’m here to help and support. Let’s explore together.